Wednesday, August 22, 2007

FROM THE RANKS PART 3: Death by Jargon

Our lead copywriter Cathy has a few words for people with big brains who write their Web sites without thought of their audience.



Picture this. You’re roaming the Web one evening after a light day of patient consults. You decide to look for some extra help getting your brand new PDA to synch up properly with your old computer. You’re getting close; you think you may have found the right site…eureka! Here’s your advice:
Microsoft Windows Installer can be used to install signed driver packages that are associated with applications in a Windows Installer installation package.

You heave a big sigh and abandon that quest in favor of checking out the classes your college student daughter has signed up for this term. You locate her university’s Web site and here’s the scoop:
This symposium aims to provide ethnographic and anthropological substance to the political philosophy of publicization. We hope to elucidate the ethnographic forms that the new public forums (Helga Nowotny et. al. call them agora) are taking in our anthropological contemporary.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” you say. “Wait just a minute. I know where you’re going with this. I’m smarter about medical Web marketing than you think. My site’s nothing like that.”

Is that right? You’re sure?

Just as doctors aren’t usually skilled in geek-speak or university blather, most prospective plastic surgery patients aren’t experts in medical terminology. Think how they may react to gobbledegook like these gems from real Web sites:
There is no blind dissection of the space for the implant. The fold below the breast (inframammary fold) as well as the medial aspect of the pocket (the cleavage area) is precisely created.

Dr. X prefers the small 3 mm,triple lumen Mercedes cannulas to 1 atmosphere of vacuum suction pressure.

External Ultrasound Assist is a method of preparing tissue for surgery by infusing fluid followed by high frequency ultrasound using a special device
designed especially for this procedure.

Not only will most searchers fail to understand what these passages are trying to say, the average patient does not want to be talked to this way. They are real people seeking understanding, support and expertise in their pursuit of self improvement—they want to connect with a physician, not receive a lecture.

An early study of the behavior of Web site visitors revealed that over 75% of them look at text first (rather than photos or other graphics). What will happen when their eyes land on “1 atmosphere of vacuum suction pressure?”

Sure you don’t want to take another look at your Web site?

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