My Favorite Sales Pitch of All Time

Ok, are you ready for it? "The technology is so unique I can't describe it in words. You have to see it."

No kidding, a woman calling to sell me an online advertising vehicle just said that. What an idiot.

I had a pretty good sense what her product was, so I humored her for 5 minutes. Humored her in that grumpy and impatient way I have when I know another silly person is wasting my time.

She embarked on a long-winded presentation that I forcibly cut short, and by the end I asked her to pull out a pen and take some dictation. I wanted to arm her with some actual words to explain what she was selling the next time a prospect asked, "Can you describe it to me?"

1. We developed some software that helps parents of myspace.com users protect their children from sexual predators. It is free to the parents, that's why 12.5 million have already downloaded our tool.
   
2. Once installed, that same software allows us to spy on their search behavior. When they type a phrase in any of the top search engines, we see it.


3. In response to what they type, we can hijack their browser and place an ad (your website) above the search results page.


4. You can actually buy a keyword! Own a keyword! And have your site appear above the search results whenever that keyword is used by someone in our network at any of the major search engines.

See now, that wasn't so hard.

Here's the part they left out. As soon as you subscribe, expect more hate mail than new customers. It's not clear to these 12.5 million parents of myspace users that the price they pay for the free software is having their search activity spied upon and their browser hijacked by massive 1/3 page ads.

We've run a few test campaigns on different networks with this same platform in the past...the results were beyond horrible. What resulted was a backlash against the advertisers, phones ringing off the hook accusing them of putting a virus on people's computers. It was a huge mess.

So, when your phone rings and the sales person says, "The technology is so unique I can't describe it in words. You have to see it." Just hang up, it's Portal Response Technology calling.

Kung Fu Carradine Pimps for Yellow Book

OK I'll admit it...I was a big fan of Kung Fu as a kid. Seriously, who didn't want to walk across rice paper without leaving a print.

But I have to challenge the master with his recent celebrity endorsement of Yellow Book and http://www.yellowbook.com/. The commercial makes three claims that basically amount to, "Yellow Book is your one stop shop for yellow page, online, and search engine marketing." I say, "Pshaw."

Let's break it down:

1. Yellow Book Yellow Page Directory
   While yellow page advertising will remain an important way to reach new and existing customers for a good time, we all have to concede that the value of big books is diminishing.
   


2. YellowBook.com
   I've heard amazing claims from all of the online yellow page sites about their huge traffic, dramatic referrals, large visitor count, etc. On close inspection we usually find that the numbers quoted are for general metrics, like all searches in your city, or nationwide searches for plastic surgery. More importantly, in each of the five major test listings we've run over the last few years there has not been sufficient, demonstrable return on investment to even cover the cost of the listing.
   


3. Yellow Book Search Engine Marketing
   To look at their program, they are reselling pay-per-click advertising at a markup. This is something you can do for yourself, or find for less.

So, to summarize, what you can find with Yellow Book are products that are over valued, over priced, and over the hill.

Spa Medical Directors, Marketing, And a Fish Sandwich

Lunch today was a fish sandwich and the July/August 2007 issue of Medesthetics Magazine. The sandwich was good, but Scott Blair's article covering medico-legal considerations for spa medical directors was juicier.

He's covered different aspects of this same topic in the past. I especially appreciate the practical approach he takes to outlining the issues as they affect doctors.

One aspect I have yet to see covered, although it is quite likely Mr. Blair has touched on this in past writings or one of his lectures, is the inherent risk and potential for disciplinary action with medical spa marketing.

I'm not a JD (nor do I play one on TV), but I do like playing at junior detective and harbinger for ethical approaches to medical marketing. The most common marketing violations we encounter, violations that we have seen trigger disciplinary action on unsuspecting physicians, are related to medical spa services.

If you own, or serve as medical director in a spa, keep in mind that it is your medical license on the line, and that most, if not all of the spa's marketing activities will be measured against your state's business and professions code.

So, following Mr. Blair's excellent example of actionable authoring, here are the issues as I see them:

1. Insist on the right to review and refuse
   Any unsolicited communication coming out of your medical spa, aka your marketing, is subject to the restrictions of your state's business and professions code, in addition to the codes set by any of your licensing boards and professional societies. Reserve the right to review all brochure content, web page text, and advertising to ensure clinical accuracy, absence of hyperbole, and adherence to your state's requirements as they relate to the display of testimonials, price based advertising, and the use of model photography.
   
   In general you will want to make sure that there are no false or misleading claims and that all price based advertising (offers of discount, etc) include all material facts about the offer (such as original price of the service, related costs, restrictions). Several states, such as NY prohibit the use of testimonials in advertising. Most states require you to disclose when an ad contains a model or stock photo.
   
2. Educate your staff
   Make sure that the medical spa manager and staff understand just how important it is that you review all marketing communications. Business managers and aestheticians may not appreciate the cost and consequence of disciplinary action if they act alone and distribute an advertisement that violates state law or another code to which you are subject.
   
3. Know the law
   I'm startled almost daily by how many of our physician clients know little to nothing about the restrictions set by their state on marketing communications. Mr. Blair said it best, "The burden is always on a physician to establish that his or her practice is compliant with applicable medical laws and regulations."
   
   And that does not just mean state code. You must understand what your medical boards and societies expect as well.
   
4. Market like the guy down the street was gunning for you
   I was surprised when I first started working in medical marketing how quick competing practices were to report one another to their state medical licensing board or societies. I have also been startled by painful demonstrations of societies singling out small groups of young doctors for even minor, unintentional marketing violations. I think you are safest to assume that your ad will end up in front of the medical board and then ask yourself, "Can I defend the design, content, claims and offers made in this piece?"

Thanks again to Scott Blair, JD, MIM, for his continuing coverage of medical spa legal issues.

Ambitious Aesthetician

So earlier in the week an ambitious aesthetician in one of our client’s offices decided to execute a small marketing campaign to help boost monthly numbers for the medical spa. And I’m sure it’s right about now that some of you are gasping in disbelief, others are cheering, and still others are wondering how to motivate your own staff to take such bold initiative. Hold on, the story goes downhill from here.

So said aesthetician decides to grab all of the email address in her Outlook and compose a special offer designed to encourage past patients to come in for a touch up treatment. She dumps every name in her contacts folder in to the “To…” line of a message, composes a very short offer that blends text and images in Outlook, and hits send.

Quick, before you read any more, write down at least three laws she just broke, three ways she could harm the practice, and three technical problems with this approach.

I had the benefit of seeing the message, so it was a bit easier for me, but here goes:

1. By including names and email of patients in the “To…” line she revealed the identity of those patients to one another, violating HIPAA


2. Sending unsolicited mail to individuals who had not asked to receive marketing communications violated the Federal Can-SPAM Act of 2003


3. By extending a discount offer for medical services without disclosing all material facts related to the procedure pricing she violated the Medical board of California’s Business and professions code

How could this harm the practice?

1. Clear privacy violations are a great way to hurt your reputation with patients


2. The fines associated with HIPAA violations could run you up to $25,000 per year


3. In the message, she failed to set any restrictions to the offer, so anyone who received the message could demand the offer as many times as they like and for as often as they want

And the technical stuff?

1. Well, she failed to test the message in gMail and Hotmail, so the message actually looked poor and unprofessional in several different email readers


2. Because the marketing communication was not sent in a subscription system, it failed to include the requisite unsubscribe instructions, which both creates a logistics problem and is another violation of the Federal Can-SPAM act


3. By sending a mass, unsolicited marketing message out through the office Internet account, she is likely have the email access for the practice suspended

There are actually many more issues, but I think I’ve made my point. How did you do…were you able to anticipate some of the problems that can be caused by allowing your staff to develop and distribute their own email promotions?

Here are some quick suggestions for an email marketing policy in your practice:

1. Create a written policy that prohibits staff from sending mass email


2. Explain the basic principles of the Federal Can-SPAM act with those staff involved in marketing The message must be labeled as commercial


1. You must include clear instructions on how to opt-out of future mailings


2. You must include your physical address and phone number


3. You may not use deceptive subject lines


3. Review how HIPAA impacts your practice communications, and specifically email




1. You must never reveal personally identifiable patient information (like names and email)


2. You may only send unsolicited marketing messages to people who have expressly requested them


3. You should include a link to your privacy policy in your messages


4. Manage your subscription list carefully, making sure there is no chance you might re-add someone after they have indicated their desire to unsubscribe